Why I don't like Halloween, part 1

oh. my. heck.


About this time yesterday morning I sat down in the rocker in Alan's room to put him to sleep for his morning nap, leaving Dale sitting at the kitchen table with a snack.


I had barely settled in when Dale appeared at Alan's door, voice shaky and on the verge of tears.

"Mama, there is a huge, huge, black spider in the second kitchen window. Can you come and kill it?"


Despite his calm bravado, I could tell by his emotion he wasn't reporting just any bug, so, even though Alan was just minutes away from being asleep, I went to check it out.


oh. my. heck.


This is what I saw...






Geez louise what was I going to do?


Well, of course, first things first, I took a couple of pics. Obviously there was a very good story developing here, and what's a good story without a picture to go with it?

Of course, it goes without saying, had that spider even dared to move from where it was I probably would have thrown the camera at it and run, so...... I didn't waste too much time on the photo op.

And, while I was playing photographer, I was also thinking about my next move. I had to do something to get rid of the thing.

Call Greg? Yeah right, he's just gonna hop in the truck and run the 90 minutes home to take care of a spider for me. Even if it is a monster spider.

Call my dad? Hmmm....somewhat of a better option, but he could be anywhere in the county. And he is working. At his job and all.

Come on. You can handle this.

Still thinking of my dad, I remember he came by the day before with a can of wasp spray so Dale could (finally) use his slide again. It's the best thing I've got (ok the only) in the line of Poisons in a Can. And while I usually try to avoid poisons in the house (especially those that spray) I glady made an exception for monster spider.

I sat Alan in the living room and stood Dale close to him, but where he could see the ... thing. I told him to watch it in case it moved so he could tell me where it went while I ran to the shed to get the wasp spray. I can't believe I left them alone in the house with that thing. I can't believe it, but I did.

I read on the can as I ran back to the house "sprays up to 20 feet". Excellent.

Positioned myself for a clear shot, without having to spray directly across the dining table.... and... Spray!

And the spider drops from the window.

And runs in my direction.

Holy smokes.

I scurry backwards, ready to shove Dale out of harm's way and scoop up Alan, thinking now we must have an angry killer spider on the loose.

I can't see it. It's got to be somewhere around the computer wires and chair legs. I go for the broom so I can beat it to death. I didn't want it to come to this. It could get messy.

Thankfully, when I come back, I see the wasp spray has done its job. Spidey has curled up and died precisely where I had stood to spray.

And for the next hour, every time my clothes moved against my skin, or I felt my hair on my neck, I jumped, I shivered, I swatted, and broke out into goosebumps. Again. Because I was covered in goosebumps throughout the entire episode.

And Dale? After it was all over, I was considering trying again for Alan's nap. Dale said, "nah. He can stay up. You just stay in here with me." I decided he was right. Safety in numbers, you know!

And I have shuddered at least a dozen times while writing this story. Every time I typed the word s-p-i-d-e-r or went back to read any portion of the story.

Because it was just. that. bad.

And that, my friends, is just one of the many (though less principled) reasons I do not like Halloween.