Gifts

I don't know about you, but with both of my babies, from day 1, I start to look for signs they are 'in there'.

You know how it is. The nurses wrap them up and put them in your arms and those dark, liquid eyes look into yours and you think, "oh yes - he knows me. There's a real little person in there."

Then he spends the next month crying and eating and sleeping and crying and pooping and he starts to seem kind of like a ... thing. An it. (Only in your tougher moments, of course.)

And then...he smiles at you. A real smile. And your heart melts all over again, and you say, "Yep. He's in there. A real little person."

And while you never stop liking that beautiful smile, and it never fails to bring a smile from you (at least not in the infant days, lol), it does start to become a part of him. The new wears off. And he's still crying. And pooping.

But then...he reaches for something, and holds it in his little hand. A toy. Your spoon. Your face. And you are reminded..."he's 'in there'. "

Of course, then the grabbing starts to lose it's 'new' sparkle too. He pulls your hair. He spills your tea. He still cries (sometimes). And still poops.

And then one day, you grab your keys and scoop up your little one and ask him if he's ready to go 'bye-bye'. And that little dimpled hand opens & closes in the sweetest little wave and you know once more, without a doubt, "Oh yes. He is in there. This precious little person."

Isn't it amazing how God planned that? Over and over again through that tough first year, He doesn't let us go very long without a reminder that this is a real life He has placed in our care. A true person, and individual, with a soul and thoughts and a heart.

There are times when I look at my beautiful babies and think, in awe, "We made this." And then I realized how silly that thought is. Not the awe part, but to even begin to think that we did that. We made that baby just like a 3 year old holds the tape dispenser and puts his finger against the folds of the paper while you secure it and then gets to say "I wrapped this present for you."

But thanks Lord. Thanks that we get to play along, and then we get to treasure these beautiful gifts you have given us.