We had only been home an hour or so today when the phone rang.
Greg was outside so I answered, only to be met with the tell-tale 2 seconds of silence before a very far away voice in a crowded room of other busy voices began: "Hello?"
Usually I have hung up by this time, but every once in a while I feel like humoring whoever is on the other end. Today happened to be one of those days.
After asking for me by my first name and a perfunctory "How are you doing today?" today's caller introduced herself and her company, which I didn't recognize.
"We are the company that took pictures of your baby in the hospital a little over a year ago."
My brain-wheels began turning (while she kept talking) .... pictures...hospital.....ahaaa.... she means when he was born.
"....we are about to delete the pictures of your baby, but we wanted to offer you one more chance to buy these photos of your baby, before we delete the pictures of your baby forever. We have a special package for moms like you who have waited to buy these pictures of their baby...."
While she went on to describe the sizes of this special-deal package for us insensitive, procrastinating moms, I was thinking:
I had reasons for not buying those pictures when they were offered to us the first time, and even though I was going through the typical messed-up post-partum hormones, it was a good decision:
#1 - they were overpriced
#2 - we took our own pictures
#3 - Alan looked like a monkey
So to let this nice lady move on to the next unsuspecting mom of a now-toddler, I interrupted her sales pitch with a kind "no, thank you" and a little chuckle.
Not only had the image of those monkey-pictures popped into my head, I was also bombarded with a quick mental slideshow of all that has happened since those pictures were taken. Oh, if we only knew then where we would be now. It's probably a good thing we didn't. Our hearts would have broken. But, thankfully, we didn't know. Instead, we have lived it, one day at a time. And one day at a time isn't so bad.
But there was a brief moment in that phone call that I wanted to buy those pictures. I wanted to have all the pictures there are of my baby before. Before we knew. Before his liver quit working and he spent days screaming and his eyes turned yellow. Before he had surgeries and blood draws. But having those pictures wouldn't change any of that. Pictures and memories are precious to me, but looking back can sometimes be bittersweet. Instead, when we choose to live in the present we can simply enjoy the sweetness of each day.
Plus.... Alan really did look like a monkey in those pictures. ;)